Who are you?
What has shaped you?
Who do you want to become?

I was born to two art majors who are to this day the most creative people I've ever known. They taught me so much about life, and about how to interact with others. I always wanted to interact with the world around me in a powerful way. Even when I was in the hospital, my family and friends brought me things to enjoy. Air Dry clay, puff paint for fabrics, modeling clay; all of it got me through the countless jabs and constant fear that the IV would break off into my arm if I moved it. Don't worry, I'm not afraid of needles anymore.

I switched schools so that I could pursue art and language. My parents always tell the story of how when I was a baby, I pulled myself up in the playpen and reached for a pen and paper on a nearby table, and started drawing on it. How I would always sit on my dad's shoulders, put a paper on his head, and ask for a pen to draw with. But often, the story of my art never seems to include my exploration in high school. I met my first art friends there. I went to art shows, participated in portfolio reviews, and won awards. I did so much in that short time that I never had time to document it. I'll do my best to do those moments justice.

It's been a crazy ride! I've worked all kinds of jobs, ranging from Accounting to Project Management to Clinical Hypnotherapy. A lot of the reason for this has just been to explore what's out there and see what fits my life. I don't know how I'll look back on this part of my life later on, but I will say that while it's very challenging, I'm enjoying it. And getting to know myself better as well. My goal right now is to make stories my Mom wrote into children's books, so that every kid growing up learning what is "normal" can at least experience some things in a book, even if they don't have access in real life. I want to accentuate the beauty of life.

This is a picture of my grandpa on my Mom's side, before my Mom was even born. He looks a lot like my brother. He was a journalist who held a variety of prominent positions throughout his career. He and my Mom moved to the US when she was 18. He went on to write about corruption, human rights, and philosophy for his entire life. He helped put every grandkid through college, and sponsored bringing my cousins to the US from Egypt when their families couldn't afford it. He was a man of action AND words. I think that, looking back on things as an adult, he was actually much less critical than I thought he was; he just didn't know how to reach out sometimes without giving advice.

Pictured are my grandma, my Mom (in the middle, with the sad face), my aunt, and my uncle. My Mom still makes that face. It's funny how much facial expressions are specific to the person sometimes. Because she grew up in Egypt and spent her adult life in the US, she has a really unique perspective on what is normal, what a community is, and what you can or can't live without. She has showed me that people can do amazing, big, scary things, and thrive in new places. She is a source of endless love and admiration, and she often says "I'm everyone's Mama" and means it. We didn't get along well when I was a kid, but we've found a way to be close now and it's wonderful.

My Dad is someone who would be late for Christmas dinner because he wanted to help someone fix their tire on the side of the road. He's empathetic, exciting, creative, brilliant, and the only thing that could ever get in his way was himself. He can do any home renovation himself, repair any machine, sculpt, paint, you name it. I'm really proud of my parents, and I'm happy to have them in my life. He once wrote a strongly worded letter to my school because he was upset that they lowered my grades for doodling on the back of a spelling test. He always has my back, and is really proud of me.

I never really got to know my grandma on my Mom's side, because of dementia. She always called me by other people's names; either my Mom's name or my cousin's name. I've spent time with her, but it always felt like spending time with a ghost. Someday, when I have kids, I really hope they actually know my Mom. I feel like it's a real tragedy that I didn't get a chance to know the person who helped raise my Mom. I know from old videos that she was very conservative. She had a sense of humor. She had a huge smile. She cared very deeply about her family. And food was her love language. I wish I had a longer list. And I wonder if I would have missed her as much as I miss my other grandma had I gotten the chance to know her.

My grandparents always loved and supported each other, and worked as a team to build something beautiful. The loss of which can be felt deeply since my grandma's passing a few years back. I had the impression that they wouldn't love me as much if I wasn't put together, so I faked being ok all the time. It was only once I started being open with them that we really were able to grow through conflict resolution. I'm grateful that I was able to be myself around them before it was too late. I love my grandma so much, and I miss her every day in a million ways. She was the kind of person who would create these really beautiful watercolors and then crumple them up, talking about how they weren't any good. I secretly was always trying to be as good at watercolors as she was, even though she threw them away.

My grandpa is someone who I can always talk to and bounce ideas off of. He's honest, well meaning, kind, and just. He will fight for what's right, even when it's hard or makes him look bad. He loves deeply, and it's impossible to give him a gift without receiving one back. He told me about an Australian military hat he used to love; someone gave it to him when he was in the military. And then right after someone complimented it, he gave them the hat. I went online and found one, and he smiled really big and we took this photo the day I gave it to him. He also made me a grilled cheese sandwich and some chicken noodle soup. I'm not sure what his favorite food is, but I want to make him something really delicious. He's a very sweet person and I love his smile very much.